Relationship OCD
What is ROCD?
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It is characterized by the presence of obsessive and intrusive thoughts, images, or impulses, as well as compulsive behaviors or mental acts that serve as frequent attempts to reduce a sense of distress or uncertainty related to these obsessions. OCD can manifest in a variety of well-known themes such as contamination, symmetry, and orderliness. However, one lesser-known but extremely common OCD theme is relationship-themed OCD, or ROCD. ROCD holds a special place in my heart because it is the theme that I have experienced most in my own journey with OCD.
Types of ROCD
ROCD is a subtype of OCD in which an individual experiences obsessions and compulsions related to their romantic or interpersonal relationships. ROCD can be further divided into two categories:
Partner-focused ROCD is when a person experiences obsessive thoughts, concerns, and/or fears that a perceived flaw in their partner is intolerable and a sign they’ve chosen the wrong person. Folks with partner-focused ROCD will then compulsively try to reduce distress or uncertainty around the perceived flaws of their partner. These folks may obsess about their partner’s looks, social aptitude, moral qualities, career success, or other qualities. They may try to control their partner, compare their partner to others, or obsessively google information about how people decide to be with their partner.
Relationship-focused OCD on the other hand is when someone experiences obsessive concerns about the quality of the relationship, such as “does my partner really love me?”, and compulsively tries to obtain assurance or reduce their distress around the perceived uncertainty about the relationship. Folks with this theme may frequently ask their partner for reassurance that their partner loves them, or compare their own relationship with other relationships in real life or online in order to assess the quality and strength of their own relationship.
Overall, ROCD obsessions can take many forms, including chronic doubts about one's partner or relationship, fears of not being in love or not being loved, and concerns about compatibility or attraction. These obsessions can lead to compulsive behaviors such as seeking reassurance from one's partner, analyzing one's feelings or thoughts, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety.
What’s the difference between ROCD and “normal” relationship anxiety?
ROCD can be challenging to diagnose and treat, as many people with ROCD may not initially recognize their symptoms as being related to OCD. Instead, they may believe that their doubts or concerns about their relationship are based on rational evidence or may be indicative of a deeper problem in the relationship. They may make the mistake of believing that because they are experiencing a “gut feeling” or sense of dread about the relationship, it means that there is something objectively wrong. The difference between ROCD and legitimate relationship concerns is often that ROCD fears do not respond to logical thought and frequently go against a person’s best rational guess about the relationship. Instead, folks with ROCD often experience these concerns as unwanted, intrusive fears that they may not rationally agree with. The experience of having ROCD is more likely to be that one’s best rational guess is that their intrusive thoughts are not true, but they fear being wrong and want to control or neutralize the presence of these thoughts.
Treatment for ROCD
Fortunately, like all other forms of OCD, Relationship OCD can be effectively treated. Through learning how to tolerate uncertainty and identify and commit to one’s best rational guess, one can reduce the impact of their intrusive thoughts and free themselves from their OCD. At our practice, we provide gold standard OCD treatment to help you get the results you are looking for. For more information on how treatment for OCD works, click here. If you are interested in receiving treatment for Relationship OCD, contact us here.